JCG NEWS

JCG August 2007 Newsletter:
Listening

• On August 17-19, I speak in Miami, FL to Southern Baptist Spanish pastors and leaders about cell ministry. Contact person: Contact: Rev. Pedro at revpedro@bellsouth.net
  
  
• I’ve totally updated, added a new section, and re-titled my book Cell Church Solutions. The new name is: The Church that Multiplies.  It’s now available to order on sale.
  
  
• Good news: Mario Vega, senior pastor of the second largest church in the world (Elim),  is now officially part of the JCG board. Welcome Mario!
  
  
• Sign up to get the  JCG blog sent daily to  your email inbox for free. Go to the blog site and  place your email address in the box on the upper right side.
  
  
• Summer Sale on the five-book equipping track. You can  order it for  $34.95 (retail-$49.95) or each individual book for $7.95 (retail-$9.95). Order now.  You can also get the CD with PowerPoint and Teaching notes for $12.95 (retail-$17.95).

• Other books on sale are: Spirit-filled Small Group and Appointment with the King. 
  
  
• In September 2007, I will publish two new books that will make up the Advanced Training of the equipping track. Coach will help a person coach a cell leader and Discover will offer clear instructions on how cell members can discover and use their spiritual gifts. 
  

• Find out more about how you can contribute to JCG, a non-profit ministry.

Someone said that when you’re fifteen years old, you are concerned about what others think about you. When you’re forty-five you really don’t care what people think about you. When you’re sixty-five, you realize that no one was thinking about you anyway!  The truth is that all of us spend most of our time thinking about ourselves.  Paul the apostle even said, “For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 2:21).

I’m discovering that listening to others is critical for effective cell ministry—whether it’s at the level of cell leader, cell pastor, or cell member.

In fact, effective listening is critical to all aspects of life and ministry! The word listen in the Bible occurs 352 times, and the word hear is found 379 times. Jesus said, for example, “Therefore consider carefully how you listen” (Luke 8:18). Part of the reason that listening requires “careful listening” is because we talk much slower than we think (some have said we think 5Xs faster than we talk). When someone is talking, the listener’s mind can race around to many other topics, and often does.

Most people don’t listen carefully. I love Steven Covey’s famous quote, “Most people do not listen to understand; they listen in order to answer. While the other is talking, they are preparing their reply” (Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) .

Yet, Scripture says, “He who answers before listening— that is his folly and his shame” (Proverbs 18:13). Really listening to others takes hard work.
When listening, at times, I don’t feel like I’m doing much work. I naturally equate hard labor, writing, or teaching with work. Yet, careful listening often requires more work. Listening to the cell member, cell leader, or pastor means that you need to direct your attention to the leader’s needs and life, and that’s hard work!
I coach various pastors. I prepare myself by going over each pastor’s case study. Yet, lately the Lord has been showing me that my preparation should primarily prepare me to listen more effectively–not talk more. God has been showing me the critical nature of listening. 

I don’t know about you, but I find my mind racing around when someone is talking. I have to admit, I often am subconsciously thinking about how I’m going to reply. I don’t like the uncomfortable silence that follows listening. 

Yet, the Lord has been showing me that listening to people (and not fearing the silence that follows) is critical to effective coaching.

Two listening techniques stand out to me as being very important. The first one is eye contact. If you are physically present with the person, it helps to look the person in the eyes. Looking people in the eyes while concentrating on what they’re saying has been an important revelation for me as I seek to listen to others.

Making comfortable eye contact can help you to concentrate. It steers all the voices in your head directly to the person at hand. It helps you to give yourself to the needs of the person, rather than trying to deal with all the competing noises. Granted there’s a fine line between looking someone in the eyes and staring. Staring makes the person feel uncomfortable and is not helpful. Slight glances away can break you free from the staring mode while honing in on every detail of the conversation.

The second one is listening to the unspoken words.  Experts vary on how much of the total communication package is non-verbal, but estimates range from 60% to 90%. They all agree on one thing: the vast majority of the communication experience is non-verbal. Reading the body language and voice inflection is essential in understanding what the person is truly saying. 

James the apostle says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). Listening is a gift we give to others. It requires sacrifice and self denial. The good news is that effective listening is a learned behavior. We can all improve in this area. .